THE PROBLEM WITH THUNDERSTORMS

THE PROBLEM WITH THUNDERSTORMS

“It is the duty of every citizen not to be overwhelmed, tortured or killed by the enemy; it is equally his duty not to be crucified, burnt or stoned; if someone hangs on the cross, it has to be in service of the cause. A good citizen is a citizen whose eyes are empty and whose hands are full; a good citizen has four fingers on every hand and three nails in every finger. It is the highest duty of every citizen to excavate a hole no less than seven metres deep and four metres across right before his front door, and to fill this hole with glass eyes. His bedroom has to face south, his kitchen northwest, and his weapons workshop toward the Hyades. It is also the highest civic duty to always wear more than five layers of clothing and pants with at least one empty leg; hats are prohibited, unless they are part of a uniform; uniforms betray the cause unless they serve it.”

Published in: Lackington’s, Issue 10 (Spring 2016)

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Experimental, Short Fiction, Weird Fiction

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